If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 for confidential support. You can also call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at (800) 422-4453. You are not alone.
Since 1989, October has been National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This month is dedicated to raising awareness and educating the public about domestic violence, which affects millions of people each year. For survivors of domestic abuse who are also navigating a divorce, this can be an incredibly challenging time. It's important for these individuals to have supportive strategies in place to help them through this difficult process.
Understanding Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse, also known as domestic violence, is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over the other partner in an intimate relationship. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, sexual orientation, religion, or gender, and can occur among couples who are married, living together, or who are dating. Domestic abuse affects both individuals in the relationship and can harm the physical safety, psychological well-being, and emotional health of the victim.
Domestic abuse includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish, or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse may not always be conspicuous, and at times, can be camouflaged as 'normal' behavior in a relationship.
Here is a brief look at some of the forms that domestic abuse can take:
Physical abuse: This could include hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc. Physical abuse also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use.
Sexual abuse: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent. This could include marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence, or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.
Emotional abuse: Undermining an individual's sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem. This could include constant criticism, diminishing one's abilities, name-calling, or damaging one's relationship with their children.
Economic abuse: Making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent. This could include maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, or forbidding attendance at school or employment.
Steps to Take When Preparing for Divorce from an Abusive Partner
Preparing for divorce from an abusive partner is a difficult yet vital step towards personal safety and freedom. Survivors of domestic abuse should prioritize their safety above all else and take necessary precautions when planning for divorce.
Here are some steps that can help survivors prepare for a divorce from an abusive partner:
Reach out to a trusted support system: It's essential to have a strong network of supportive friends, family members, or professionals who can provide emotional support and practical assistance.
Secure important documents: Make copies of important documents, such as identification cards, passports, social security cards, financial records, and any evidence of domestic abuse.
Create a safety plan: A safety plan is a personalized strategy that outlines steps to take in case of danger or emergency. This could include having a safe place to go, organizing emergency supplies, and creating a code word with trusted individuals.
Consult with an attorney: Seek legal advice from a lawyer who specializes in domestic violence cases. They can help survivors navigate the legal process and provide guidance on obtaining protective orders or restraining orders.
Document any incidents of abuse: Keep a journal or record of any incidents of domestic abuse, including dates, times, and descriptions of what happened. This can be used as evidence in court. Go to a doctor to get checked out, and also have medical records of any physical abuse.
Take care of yourself: It's crucial to prioritize self-care during this difficult time. Seek therapy or counseling to process any trauma from the abuse and develop coping mechanisms for a healthier future.
Supportive Strategies for Survivors During Divorce Proceedings
Divorce proceedings can be overwhelming and emotionally taxing, especially for survivors of domestic abuse. It's crucial to have supportive strategies in place to help navigate this process.
Here are some strategies that can provide support during divorce proceedings:
Seek emotional support: Lean on trusted friends, family members, or professionals for emotional support during this time. Consider joining a support group specifically for survivors of domestic abuse going through a divorce.
Practice self-care: Take time for yourself and prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and peace.
Stay informed: Educate yourself on the legal process of divorce and understand your rights as a survivor of domestic abuse. Your attorney can also provide guidance on this matter.
Utilize resources: There are many organizations and resources available for survivors of domestic abuse going through a divorce. These may include legal assistance, financial aid, counseling services, and support groups.
Take breaks from the process: It's important to take breaks from the stress of divorce proceedings. This could involve taking a day off of work, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable activities.
Handling Child Custody in Cases of Domestic Abuse
Custody battles in the context of domestic abuse can be highly charged and distressing. The paramount concern in such situations is always the safety and well-being of the child or children involved. Survivors of domestic abuse will need to prepare diligently and make a strong case for why granting them custody will serve the best interests of the child.
When preparing for a child custody case, you should consider the following steps:
Gather evidence of abuse: Any evidence of the abuse you or your children have suffered can be instrumental in a custody case. This might include police reports, medical records, photos of injuries, texts or emails that demonstrate abusive behavior, and testimony from witnesses who have observed the abuse.
Secure legal representation: A lawyer experienced in domestic abuse cases can provide invaluable guidance during a custody dispute. They can help you understand your rights, develop a strong case, and navigate the often complex legal proceedings.
Develop a safety plan for your children: Just as you need a safety plan, so do your children. This can include knowing who to call in an emergency, a safe place to go, and a code word for when they feel unsafe.
In court, it's important to clearly articulate the impact of the abuse on you and your children and how granting custody to the abusive partner could put your children's physical and emotional safety at risk. Remember, it's not just about proving that abuse occurred, but demonstrating the potential continuing risk to the children if they were to be placed in the custody of the abusive partner.
Legal Considerations for Survivors of Domestic Abuse
If you're navigating through a divorce as a survivor of domestic abuse, Samuelson Hause PLLC is ready to stand with you. Our team of dedicated and compassionate attorneys specializes in family law and domestic abuse cases. We understand the unique challenges you face, and we can provide the legal support you need during this difficult time.
We can guide you through the divorce process, helping you secure necessary protective orders, advising you on matters of child custody, and assisting you with any other legal considerations that may arise. Our team will work diligently to ensure your rights are protected and your voice is heard.
Don't navigate this process alone. Contact us today or call us at (516) 584-4685 to discuss how we can help you take the steps toward your new beginning.
